The streets in St Andrews are few and small. Each block is decorated with flats filled with our peers,

friends, exes, and strangers. People that you recognize from a night out, a tutorial, halls. However, for a

town with three streets crawling with fellow students, our disposition to actually stop and warmly say hello

is lacking. When I chose St Andrews, I expected to walk down the street and constantly stop to say hi to

fellow students. A natural consequence of constantly seeing people you know. Yet in St Andrews this is

somewhat untrue. The close nature of our living quarters and university buildings coupled with the

exclusivity of events and societies create an environment where nonchalance is the chosen attitude,

rather than friendliness. At the end of my final year at university I have come to know that there seems to

be a standardized norm around saying hello. One which I have grown to vehemently dislike.

One of the more fascinating places to run into people is the main library. A hub for students desperate to

finish assignments, but also a social spot in its own right. Each floor is distinct and different in their

associated social interactions. The basement, for example, is what I regularly call a ‘zoo’. Filled with first

and second years whose worries consist of whether or not to buy the union’s platinum pass (don’t do it).

The mix of boredom and ridiculous noise level makes it the perfect place to talk to strangers. The lobby is

similar. Here you find the benches where students sit, claiming they are on a 10 minute break, when in

actuality they haven’t even opened their laptop. Then we have the silent floors. The first one is mainly

taken by 3rd years. Quiet and serious. You do not greet others, you smile (if that) and normally just look at

the ground to avoid saying hello. And finally, the 4th floor. The most serious of all. At the PCs you will find

the same 10 people who are writing their dissertation and genuinely treat it like a 9-5 (I hope that first is

worth it). Here you see dozens of people you know that in any other circumstance not only would you

smile and say hi, but there would probably be a lengthy conversation following. The fourth flour rejects

that. On this floor you make eye contact, barely acknowledging others and go about your way attempting

to find a seat.

The main library is not the only place where people choose solitude over welcoming people they know. It

is just one I have come to know intimately while writing my dissertation. This is common practice all over

St Andrews, on market street, in pubs, Tescos, the Union. And I have been in many conversations where

people vehemently dislike the unwelcoming social norm. Especially from students studying abroad,

suggesting that this behaviour is unique to St Andrews. But why would a town with such vibrant social life

create a culture of solitude? I think it boils down to three reasons: fear of rejection, the facade of social

media, and the exclusive social nature of this town.

To begin, people simply don’t want their friendly advances to be rejected (duh). This doesn’t hold people

back is in first year. First semester first year is a time where nearly everyone you meet is more than happy

to strike up a conversation. It is a time where people are desperate to find themselves and, in the

process, their friends. Being social with strangers is easier than ever because everyone is on the same

page, thus no rejection. And even if you meet someone unpleasant, people take the rejection in stride

because there is nothing to lose (except maybe pride). Lacking fear of rejection perfectly explains why our

first year is distinct socially compared to the following years.

As annoying as it is to reference, social media also obviously impacts social life. Therefore, it affects the

politics of saying hello. Firstly, it confuses people as to how close they actually are with others, especially

with the way information is spread in this town. For example, if I follow someone I knew in first year and

my boyfriend also knows them intimately (pause), I may feel more inclined to say hello to them. But in this

instance they may not know me. This may lead me to feel rejected when I go to speak to them, so going

forward I may opt out of saying hi to those extended friends ever again. Even if I feel as though I know

them. This rejection and false sense of closeness forces us to choose solitude out of fear of not

embarrassing ourselves. Social media also precisely signals to others who their friends are. The explicit

forms of friendships include tagged photos, comments, and follows. Being on an Instagram close friends

story, to an extent, makes people feel close enough to approach and say hello to one another in the real

world. And, if you do not have that explicit stamp of friendship approval you may feel less inclined to greet

others.

And finally, probably the most unique way which St Andrew's social life creates this atmosphere of

nonchalance in greeting others is through the exclusive nature of societies and clubs. In St Andrews

people seem to be most social at events which require an invite. And sure, you can chalk it up to the free

flowing drinks (espresso martini on tap), but I think people are the most social because an invite indicates

you have been vetted in some way socially. It's not a nice pill to swallow but it is the truth. This extends to

societies as well. People within these societies are more social with each other at gatherings because

everyone there needed to go through some sort of process to get in. For sports, that includes being good

enough to play, to which you associated team, 1s,2s, or 7s, distinguishing you further. For academic

families the academic parents enjoyed your presence enough to invite you. And for the event societies

and fashion shows it means that not only are you capable at your job (hopefully), but you impressed the

executives enough to be selected for committee. This proves how much these exclusive clubs matter to

the politics of greeting others and can be even seen by the jackets people sport around this town with

their branding of social association.

But are the strict social norms necessarily a bad thing? I think it depends who you ask. I personally would

describe myself as extroverted and have definitely felt annoyed by those pretending not to see me on the

street. But at the same time I think that St Andrews in its own way prepared me well to navigate social

situations outside of university. It is a place where your social life does not necessarily fall into your lap

and rejection is a part of the process. However, as I approach my last couple weeks of university, I will

attempt to reject the nonchalant social norm, and hope others will do the same.