We all know the cliché: summer love is meant to be fleeting. There’s something about summer that makes experiences seem disposable. Long nights, beach parties, and late-night conversations: you meet someone unexpectedly, and before you know it, you’re anticipating the end. Movies, music, and even our friends reinforce the impression that these romances are casual flings as temporary as the season itself, destined to fade once September naturally comes back around. After all, who hasn’t sung Taylor Swift’s “August” and thought about that one summertime love who slipped away?  

But what happens when you don’t want it to be temporary? What if a summer romance begins to feel different — like something solid, something worth protecting? 

I’ve recently asked myself these questions too. This summer, I unexpectedly started a relationship at the very beginning of the season, and I’d be lying if I said the thought, “summer romance cannot become real” didn’t creep in. The echo of this can’t last haunted me more than I’d like to admit, with September looming like a dark cloud over a clear sky. But here’s what I’ve realised: letting a misconception define the course of a relationship isn’t only misguided, it’s self-sabotage.  

I decided that a stereotype cannot dictate feelings and whether a bond can be real — here’s why:  

First, a genuine connection doesn’t intensify or weaken based on the calendar. Feelings do not check forecasts before showing up and taking over. Yes, the end of summer and the return to routine can feel daunting (especially when long distance is a prospect on the horizon), but that’s not reason enough to write something off. In many ways, a transition is a test of whether the bond is authentic and strong enough to withstand change. 

Secondly, the pressure to keep things “casual” isn’t just about summer, either. This social expectation reflects something larger in Gen Z romance culture: our collective hesitation around labels, as we have mastered the art of detachment. Hookup culture, situationships, and the “let’s not define it” era often leave us hesitant to give in fully. The unspoken “game” of who can care less often makes it feel safer — and better — to remain detached.  We ghost, avoid labels, or “soft launch”, all in the name of playing it cool.  

One of my best friends once told me that you shouldn’t be afraid of giving in to strong emotions, regardless of circumstances or potential problems that might never even happen, because in holding back you risk always “living with one foot out the door”. And isn’t that exactly what happens when we dismiss something meaningful as “just a summer fling”? In holding back, we risk never really stepping out at all. 

Once again, this type of mindset is just another form of self-sabotage: convincing ourselves it’s better to stay detached, even when we really crave something meaningful. Instead, what’s cooler than being brave enough to actually care? Asking ourselves this question can save us a lot of time and energy. 

Of course, casual relationships are valid — that’s exactly what many want. Still, if you feel pressured into keeping things casual when your heart wants more, take it as a sign. Growing out of teenage flings and into your twenties often means understanding that you don’t just seek attention or excitement anymore; you want something intentional and real. That isn’t being “uncool” or “too serious” — it’s emotional maturity, and its proof that you’re ready for (and deserve) more. 

Another crucial question is, ultimately, who cares what anyone else thinks? Someone can find love in July and enjoy single life in November. Someone else might thrive in a long-term relationship that started on a random summer holiday. There are no rules here, and there especially shouldn’t be any based on the month. 

So maybe the key is simple: stop using the calendar as an excuse to dismiss what feels real. Yes, some summer flings will remain as such. But sometimes, giving something new a chance means allowing it to grow beyond what others expect without resorting to defense mechanisms that keep us from the relationships we want and deserve. Sometimes a bond might even feel so good that you immediately start doubting it. To reference another great song, Frankie Valli reminds us in Can’t Take My Eyes Off You that being “too good to be true” isn’t always a reason to pull back. Maybe it’s just a sign that something worth holding onto has found you, no matter what time it begins. 

At the end of the day, seasons change and always will — but that doesn’t mean your feelings have to. The real matter is whether we’ll give them space to grow and stop believing in inevitable expiration dates.