Whether it’s early morning adventures, catching up over coffee, or enjoying live music with friends, it can seem like everyone around you is happy and carefree. “These are the best years of our lives,” people often say. And for many, this might feel true. University is often portrayed as a time filled with joy, freedom, and exciting new experiences.

But behind the smiles, not everyone feels this way.

This summer, an old classmate of mine passed away under tragic circumstances. A classmate who I shared conversations with, a classmate who I sat next to in class, a classmate I’ve smiled at. It almost doesn’t feel real, that someone who you’ve shared a physical presence with can no longer be felt, seen, or heard.

It came as a massive shock to me. I remember hearing the news and having no idea how to begin to process what I just heard. What do I do? Who do I talk to?

While my classmate’s story is deeply personal, the challenges they faced reflect a broader crisis that affects nearly half university students. It is reported that within universities, 44% of students reported symptoms of depression and 15% reported seriously considering suicide. That is nearly half a student body depressed, and yet, how often do we check in on our closest friends? Clearly, not enough. We always ask, “How are you?”, but is it sincere, are we really offering a genuine opportunity to start a conversation on the street? Given that nearly half the student body reported experiencing depression, why do these signs go unnoticed?

I think it is important to explore where these negatively charged thoughts can develop from. Depression does not have one universal cause and can be triggered by a variety of factors. Some of these causes can include a stressful childhood experience, major life changes such as a relationship ending, negative self-esteem, or drugs and alcohol.

In a university setting, this can look significantly different. One of the leading causes of mental stress among a student body is loneliness. It seems ironic, considering the potentially high level of peer interaction everywhere at university – from canteen to lectures – however, many of us don’t always feel connected with our peers. In St Andrews specifically, the extremely international student body which represents individuals from all over the globe can be a reason for this lack of connection. Cultural diversity can sometimes create a sense of distance, leaving individuals feeling they haven’t truly found their community or “their people.”

Furthermore, an often-overlooked aspect of the St Andrews’ experience is the immense orientation or ‘start up’ pressure. My first day is etched into my memory; having the expectation – indeed need – of finding a friend group, an academic family, the pressure to excel in my studies. Then as the school year progresses, the challenges evolve to “Who am I going to live with?”; “How do I find student accommodation?”; “Is someone reselling a ticket for the Welly Ball?”. Life can feel like a continuous cycle of uncertainty, and for many, this can take a significant toll on their mental health.

Anxiety and depression can often go unnoticed, even amongst our closest friends. We need to learn how to recognize their signs, and when or how to intervene. Here are 3 signs particularly relevant within the St Andrews community. *Noting that signs of depression are more evident with deeper personal familiarity.*

Firstly, Negative Self-Talk. Negative-self talk happens to everyone, however, increased negative self-talk can be a direct symptom of depression. In a town surrounded by extreme talent, it can be easy to feel less than; to not be the tallest, strongest, or smartest can lead to negative thoughts. However, this can also be more subtle. Maybe you don’t think you’re good enough to make friends or good looking enough to talk to someone you find attractive. Such phrases can include "I’m so dumb” or “I don’t belong here".

We must also look out for Energy Levels. A common symptom of depression is feeling constantly tired. Depression can drain your energy by impacting motivation and your physical health. Imagine you have a close friend who constantly mentions how tired they are, albeit not getting adequate sleep. This may be a sign something is wrong. Depression can disrupt sleeping patterns, manifesting as trouble falling asleep or even struggling to get out of bed.

Finally, Lack of Interest in Social Events, Hobbies, or Academics. When feeling depressed, activities that normally give you energy can feel redundant, laborious, and exhausting, known professionally as anhedonia. This is often due to depression’s effect on the brain’s ability to experience pleasure or motivation. For example, a friend who loves playing guitar suddenly quits, claiming ‘it’s too much effort’. If you notice a friend or someone you know suddenly become turned off by things they were once passionate about, it may be useful to seek clarification (more on that later).

If you have noticed someone you care about emulating these symptoms or behaving similarly, intervening may be imperative. However, making an intervention isn’t easy, as it can be a slightly uncomfortable conversation and we may not be equipped with phrases or questions to adequately handle a friend dealing with anxiety or depression.

I do encourage you to check in on yourself before making an intervention, and to reflect upon how much energy you have to devote to someone else’s problems.

That being said, let’s dive into some strategies:

Rather than asking a “What’s up?” consider the following questions:

“What has this week been like for you?”

“What’s the good and bad news of the week?”

If they do respond negatively, it may be wise to follow up with:

“I’m here to listen”

“I’ve noticed you haven’t been quite yourself lately”

Encourage them to reflect by asking:

“What has been occupying your mind lately?”

If they do open up, it is important to embrace their vulnerability. Emphasise that you care about them; you could say:

“You’re not alone”

“I care about you”

“It’s okay to feel this way”

If someone says, “I’m fine”, then it may be important to ask one additional question, but not to pry. You can finish off by saying:

“If there is anything you want to talk about, you know I’m here”

Some other things you should keep in mind:

Start small

Watch for non-verbal cues

Keep the stakes low

Be vulnerable, be yourself

These questions/phrases plus things to keep in mind are all vital in keeping up with someone you truly care about. I hope that going forward, you can use this advice to check-in on someone you know personally.

I’d like to take some time to acknowledge the work of the students in bringing awareness to mental health. Initiatives like Movember are essential for creating spaces where mental health conversations can happen. Recently, I was fortunate enough to sit down with Rory King, a member of the Rugby Club who organized the Movember themed touch-rugby match, to get his perspective on the importance of raising awareness.

“That’s the main part of it, just getting people together and talking, and everyone being comfortable…It’s an environment where you’re celebrating someone’s life. It does open more conversations that you wouldn’t have necessarily had on any other day.”

St Andrews is a community of incredible people from all over the globe, but no one is immune to challenges. By learning to recognize the signs of mental health struggles, we can foster a supportive environment; we can make a difference. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple, authentic conversation to remind someone they’re not alone.

If you do notice these signs in yourself or someone you know and it is worrying you, please reach out to student services. A link to their website is here:

https://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/students/support/