When I look back on the past four years, I don’t really recognize my first-year self. I came to university with a completely different idea of what college would look like. Sure, the parties and friend-group trips were there – and really fun – but I didn’t realize the full extent of the St Andrews bubble effect.

I arrived from Serbia in the Balkans, where people are refreshingly blunt and direct. To outsiders that can sometimes seem rude, but at least you always know where you stand. Here it was the exact opposite. Everyone slipped into these polished social circles; there was no room for bluntness. Students arrived fresh from world-renowned high schools, often with crazy connections, and grouped together: the Americans from NYC, LA, and Connecticut; the French and Swiss; the English, and more. I was intimidated and terrified simply of being rejected – ridiculous now, but real then. 

Cliques form instantly in this town. My first-year “friends” were great for coffees, study sessions, and nights out – but never really friends. It was all convenience and lightness with no depth. I spent the next three years trying to find something more, only to realise that we just weren’t right for each other. And that’s okay. Every person I spent time with these past four years was there for a reason, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I also came to uni still dating my high-school sweetheart. I didn’t realize how many of us were in the same boat: clinging to old relationships, breaking up and patching things up over holidays, only to break again when term started. Back then, it felt like the world was ending, and I am laughing writing it out now. My advice: just end it, you’ve outgrown them. Looking back, it’s almost wholesome how naive we are as freshmen, suddenly with all this freedom, responsibilities, and a completely new beginning in a random little town.

Even though I came to university to study economics, I have always been creative at heart, so I missed having an outlet to express that creativity. One night I dreamed up a little platform where I could really hear what people in this town think, believe, and create. I wanted to find that depth I’d been hunting for in my university friendships at the time, the depth I kept missing when meeting people in this town, because I knew it was there, with so many people from so many different backgrounds and cultures. And that’s how N/A magazine was born.

In just over a year, N/A has grown so much. I’ve collaborated with talented people in St Andrews and beyond, interviewed successful artists, and built a community of writers, photographers, models, and thinkers who share the values N/A was built on – transparency, authenticity, boldness. Seeing people openly engage in raw and real conversations and express their true selves has been the highlight of my uni experience.  I cannot be more proud of N/A and its people. I also quickly realized running a magazine came with hard lessons – letting go of team members who didn’t share our vision or engage in teamwork, learning to make tough calls, and shaping a project I truly believe in. Those learning curves made me a more decisive, resilient leader.

Whether you’re just starting at St Andrews or beginning any big new chapter, you’ll face academic pressure, social competition, culture shock, and maybe heartbreak. As corny as it sounds, don’t feel like you have to change yourself to fit in. In time, you’ll find your crowd, your pace, your routine, and your own little world in this bubble that feels like home. Enjoy this beautiful, crazy, weird town while it lasts, because it goes by in the blink of an eye. 

They say you leave St Andrews either married or an alcoholic – I’m thrilled to be leaving with an amazing boyfriend and am so excited for our future outside of this bubble. If I could hug my fresher self, I’d tell her: the next four years will be challenging, lonely, and at times cut-throat, but also the most inspiring years of your life. You’ll grow in ways you can’t imagine, and it all works out in the end. 

Thank you, St Andrews, for transforming me into a mature, strong, and hopeful young adult. I will miss this silly old town with all its quirks. As for N/A, well, it will always be here to welcome you. But only if you are unapologetically bold.